Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Another one for today...

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

-BLUE OCTOBER

Hate Me

With or Without You...

"Until at least this Friday" has now turned into "probably not more than three weeks"...
But, on the bright side, he's willing to have dinner with me on Saturday to "to try to start to rebuild"...isn't that fabulous?!
Oh yeah, and it doesn't look like G/f will be leaving before Christmas so our first one in our new place will clearly not be how I had pictured it...
Since there isn't anything good to say, here are more lyrics:

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate

On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you
With or without you

With or without you
Through the storm we reach the shore

You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you
With or without you

With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away
My hands are tied

My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose
And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away
With or without you

With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
With or without you

With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
With or without you

-U2

Monday, October 16, 2006

All I Can Do...

There is WAY too much going on to really post right now (also because I can only log on from work)...suffice to say that I stayed in a hotel on Friday night and I will be staying with my sister until at least this Friday. Yeah, it's like that...

So, here are more lyrics 'cause they are like shorthand for what I'm feeling right now (which doesn't really appear to match with what I've said above but just go with it...my emotions are ALL over the place these days)...

When you're on your own
When you're at a fork in the road
You don't know which way to go
There's too many suns in our rows
You haven't laughed in a while
When you can't even fake a smile
When you feel ashamed
The uniform don't make you brave

Chorus:
All I can do is love you to pieces
Give you a shoulder to cry when you need it
When the day is long and the night is coming down on you
All I can do
All I can do
All I can do

When you forget your name
and the pleasure can't disguise your pain
and you don't feel the same
I won't forget the love you made

Chorus:
All I can do is love you to pieces
Give you a shoulder to cry when you need it
When the day is long and the night is coming down on you
All I can do
All I can do
All I can do

What a lovely day to shape your dreams
And you don't even have to sleep
You can make it what you want to be
You can fly away
You can change your name
You can have a happy face
It can be so real
ohhhhhh

Chorus:
All I can do is love you to pieces
Give you a shoulder to cry when you need it
When the day is long and the night is coming down on you
All I can do
All I can do
All I can do
Is all that I can do

-Chantal Kreviazuk

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Torn

I thought I saw a man brought to life
he was warm he came around like he was dignified
he showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
you don't seem to know - or seem to care what your heart is for
I don't know him anymore
there's nothing where he used to lie
my conversation has run dry
that's what's goin' on
nothing's fine
I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
lying naked on the floor
illusion never changed
into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
you're a little late
I'm already torn
So I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
but you crawled beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
there's just so many things
that I can't touch
I'm torn
there's nothing where he used to lie
my inspiration has run dry
that's what's goin' on
nothing's right I'm torn...

- Natalie Imbruglia